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Sarfarosh Shayari

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“Dilo ki imaarto mei kahin bandagi nahi,
aur pathar ki Masjido mei Khuda ko dhoondte hain log.”

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“Dawa bhi kaam na aye koi duwa na lage
Dawa bhi kaam na aye koi duwa na lage
Mere khuda kisi ko pyar ki hawa na lage”

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” Kuch majnu bane kuch Ranjha bane,
Kuch Romeo Kuch farhaad huye,
Is Rang roop ki chahat mei jaane kitne barbad huye”

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“Are yeh mandir nahi hai Shivala nahi hai,
Haseeno se kaho ki kahin aur jaaye,
Mera Dil hai Dil , Dharamshala nahi hai..”

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“Phool khilte hai bahaaron ka samaa hota hai
Aise mausam mein hi to pyaar javaan hota hai,
Dil ki baaton ko hothon se nahi kehte,
Ye fasaana to nigaahon se bayaan hota hai”

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Pyar ka Punchnama Dialogue

 

After being¬†frustrated by his girl friend; Rajat take it all out…enjoy the below ūüôā¬†

Problem yeh hai ki woh ladki hai.  aur kya problem hai

Problem yeh hai ki main chahata hoon ki meri life mein koiye problem na ho

Lekin agar meri life mein koiye problem na ho toh yeh uski life ki sabse badi problem hai…

And bull shit she is worried yaar use to celebrate karna chahiye tha

She is in this exactly what she wants

Seriously yaar aajkal jab bhi wo muh kholti man karta hai muh me kuch stuff kardoon
Trust me yaar cheih mahinom me I have had it all Sab dekhliya meine

Kaunsi pyaar  Kaisi relationship?

Kahin ki khushiya?

Relationship ka matlab ye rehta hai an end to your own happiness

Uske baad all you have to worry about is uski khushiyaan uska birthday

uske kutte ka birthday

Uska new year to kabhi tumhara bhi new year tha

 

In ladkiyon ko na koi khush nahi rakh sakta

A happy woman is a myth

Tu batman wali ki dekh le

Saala Jab tak saala batman nahi bana

tab tak bolti rahi

tum toh kuch karte nahi ho

nakara ho

napunshak ho

main tum jaise insaan ke saath kaise reh sakti hu

jisdin bechara batman ban gaya

us din boli

tum toh batman ban gaye

mujhe toh ek normal insaan chahiye tha

main tumhare saath kaise reh sakti hu

Sab saalan na in bollywood kahaniyon ka dosh hai

Bloody bollywood romantic masaala

Ek ladka ek ladki  dono ko pyaar hua  Dono saath saath Film khatam

Is ke baad  ka story koi nahi batata  Iske baad ki kahaani mein batata hoon

Iske baad ladke ne ladki ko do din hug nahi kiya  To problem

Hug kiya to chape ho rahe ho Itna bhi achcha nahi lagta

Saale Shopping khatam nahi hoti inki  Pehle cushion laye   fir curtain laye

cushion, curtain se match nahi kiye  toh aur cushion laye

mere ghar mein mug itne hai  ki unko bechne jaoon

toh mahine ka kharcha nikal aaye

Ek to jo cheez lena hai wo leke nahi ayegi do hafte dimag chatenge ki

table lena hai  table lena hai

5 ghante maal me bitake ek sadhi si chappal utha kar layenge

aur fir agle do hafte dimag chatenge

table lena hai¬†table lena hai…

 

Offic e me kaam kar raha hoon

Phone aa jayega

 

Phone utathe hi bol deta hoon

Baat nahi kar sakta

 

Kitna mushkil hai ye baat samajhna?

Do minute karloge to kya ho jayega

Are do minute karloonga to tumhe kya miledi meri maan

Thik se to kar paoonga nahi

Aur iske baad I love you bole bina phone kaataan to naatak

Sabse jyada dimaag ki dahi is mobile phone ne ki hai…

Kitna ghatiya invention hai saala

Trust me I say patta hai saala patta…

ek toh …inke ad bhi dekho

lo ji 1 paisa per second

aur phone karo

aur phone karo

aare call sasti ho jaane se baat thodi na badh jati hai karne ko

fir iska jawab unhe bhi do

tumhare pass baat kyon nahi hai karne ko

you have lost interest in me

tumhe hoon hoon hi karna atha toh maine tumhe phone hi kyon kiya???

are meri maa mujhe kya pata tune mujhe phone kyon kiya???

jake bharti mittal se puch na…

tujhe main bata raha hoon

us ad mein kutta nahi kutia hai…

seriously

mein shart laga sakta hoon…

 

Tujhe kya lagta hai

 

Columbus ko pata nahi tha wo india nahi jaa raha tha

Glati se pahoonch gaya?

Usko to pata tha

Wo bechara to kahin door jaan chahta tha

Biwi ki chakkar me bolna pada India jaa raha hoon

Nah to das sawaal poochti

Kahaan jaa rahe ho

Kyon jaa rahe ho

Achcha tumhe pata bhi nahi kahaan jaa rahe ho?

Seedhe seedhe kyon nahi bolte ki mujhse kahin door jaan chahte ho/

Aaj tak bechare ka mazaak udati hai duniya

Office me kaam kar raha hoon

Sms aajayega

I love you

Thik hai mein bhi sms karleta hoon

I love you too

Iske baad sms pe sms shuroo

abey kaam kya karti hai office mein???

Do sms ka reply mat karna

Turant Phone aa jayega

Phone mat uthaa

To dus min me message aa chuka hoga

I don’t think its working anymore

Dus min me Babu I love you to

I don’t think its working anymore

And this is when they are not even down

Ab pata chala ye aadmiyon ko itne heart attack kyon aate hain

Aur yeh…. gay bande itne successful kyon hote hai???

Because they don’t have a woman to screw their happiness na

Log kehte hain na behind every successful man, there is a woman

True

But koi ye nahi bataata ki

behind every unsuccessful man, also there is a woman

Aur ye to koi bhi bata sakta hai na

Ki unsuccessful logon ka taadaath

Successful logon se kayi guna zyada hai is duniya me

Saala Office me kaam kar raha hoon

Keh raha hoon late ho jaaonga

To khaana nahi khayegi

Phir bhooki so jayegi

Are mein keh raha hoon na khana khalo

Kya karoon naukri chod doon?

saale ghar jaao

Pehle Inhe manao inhe khilao

Uske baad khud ki bhookh to aise hi mar jaati hai

Is sab ke baad bhi insaan kisi tarah

Kone me jaake shaanti se baitha hua hai chup chaap to gaya

Gadi gadi

kya soch rahe ho???

kya soch rahe ho???

kya soch rahe ho???

Are kuch nahi soch raha meri maa

yeh soch raha hoon ki tera mooh kaise band karu…

kya soch raha hoon

camera laga doon dimag mein…

Is sab ke baad

We never talk

We need to talk

I don’t think its working any more

And mein tumhe bata raha hoon

You cannot discuss anything with a woman

Because they call it a discussion

But any discussion with a woman is an argument

Aur argument mein toh tu boss unse jeet hi nahi sakta…

Because hum aadmiyon ki ek basic need hoti hai

To make sense in an argument

Ladkiyon ko koi farak nahi padta

Sense jaise bekaasi cheez ki wajeh se wo

Argument kaise haar jaye

Ek to aaj ki baat pe argument aaj hoga hi nahi

aaj ki baat par jhagada hoga do mahine baad…

Yahaan saala yaad hi nahi rehta hai do mahine pehle hua kya tha???

Ladkiyaan bacha ke rakhti hain

yeh chota hatiyar nahi

bada hatiyar hai

isse badi ladai mein use karenge…

TU kabhi try karliyo khud ko sahi saabit karne ki

Tujhe lag hi raha haoga ki is point se tu apni baat ko ssabit karlega

 

Lekin tabhi ek awaaz ayegi

Ungli neeche karoo

Tune dhyaan bhi nahi diya hoga

Lekin tumhari nadaan si ungli unki taraf point kar rahi hogi

 

And suddenly , the whole argument will flush down the gutter

And mudra ye reh jayega ki

 

How dare you point a finger at me?

Kisne banaya ye rule

Kisne banaya?

Saal wo beech argument me tumhe jhoota phek ke maarle to koi dikkat nahi

Lekin unki taraf ek ungli point kardo

Saara mudra khatam

Wo sahi tum galat

Shaadi se pehle wo nagin tune kyon bhajta hai

Kyon ki band wala bhi tumhe chetaavani de raha hoga ki kaun aa raha hai tumhari zindagi me

Inka signature tune hai wo

Ab ye bata wo kya karne aayi thi tere paas yahaan

Same cheez mein karoon to

Uske kisi friend ko call karke

Ab ye problems ginaoon to

Kahegi tumne meir friend ko call kiya

Hmm hmm

Tum uski sympathy gain karna chahte ho?

Y don’t you go and sleep with her?

Its ridiculous yaar

I can talk english i can walk english – Amitabh Bachchan

Movie- Namak Halal

Actor- Amitabh Bachchan

I can Talk English,I can walk English,I can Laugh English because English is a very Funny Language.Bhairo becomes Baron and Baron becomes Bhairo because there mind’s are very Narrow.In the Year 1929 sir,when India was playing against Australia in Melbourne city,Vijay Merchent and Vijay Hajare,they were at the crease and Vijay Merchet told Vijay Hajare,look Vijay Hajare-This is a very Prestigious match and you must consider this match very carefully.So considering the consideration that Vijay Hajare gave Vijay Merchant,Vijay merchent told Vijay Hajare that ultimately we must take a run and when they were striking the ball on the leg side Sir,the consideration became into a ultimatum and ultimately Vijay Hajare went to Vijay Merchant.

Similarly Sir,In the Year 1979,when India was playing against Pakistan in Wankhade stadium,Bombay,Wasim Raja and Wasim Bari they were at the crease and Wasim Bari gave the same consideration to Wasim Raja and Wasim Raja told Wasim Bari-look Sir,This ultimately has to end in a consideration which i cannot consider,therefore the consideration that you are giving me must be considered very ultimately.Therefore,the run that they were taking,Wasim Raja told Wasim Bari-Wasim Bari you take a run,and ultimately both of them ran and considerately they got out…

Sholay Dialogues

sholay

(Scene : railgaadi station pahuchti hai. Jailer sahab niche utarte hai.)

Jailer : Thakur Sahab ……
Ramlal : Aaeye jailer sahab

(dono ghode par Ramgadh ki taraf nikalte hai. Aur title music shuroo hota hai.
sath me titles. Dono Thakur ki haweli pahunchte hai.)

Jailer : Thakur sahab, aap ka khat milte hi maine socha aap ne mujhe yaad
kiya hai. agali gaadi se chala aaya.
Thakur : Jailer sahab, mai aap ko ek takalif dena chahata hoon.
Jailer : Haa, haa, jaroor. koi bhi kaam ho.
Thakur : Mujhe do aadmiyon ki jaroorat hai.
Jalier : Do aadmi?
Thakur : Ramlal…..(Ramlal hands over the photographs to jailer).
inhe pahachante hai aap?
Jailer : Thakur sahab, Shayad hi koi aisa jail ho jis me ye dono naa
gaye ho. ye Veeru hai aur ye Jaydev. dono ke dono pakke
badmaash. ek number ke chor .Chhate huwe gunde hai.
Thakur : Jaanata hoon…. Lekin Kaam kuchh aisa hai ki mujhe aise hi
aadmiyon ki jaroorat hai.
Jailer : Thakur sahab , mai ye to nahi jaanta ke aap ko kya kaam he lekin
itna jaroor jaanta hoon ke ye dono kisi kaam ke nahi .
Thakur : nahi jailer sahab, agar ek taraf in me ye sab kharaabiyaa hai to
doosari taraf kuchh khubiyaa bhi hai.
Jailer : Khota sikka to dono hi taraf se khota hota hai.
Thakur : SIKKE AUR INSAAN ME SHAYAD YEHI FARK HAI….
mujhe yaad hai.
(INCOMPLETE)

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(Veeru and Jay steals a motor cycle with side seat and then a song
YE DOSTI HAM NAHI TODENGE
TODENGE DAM MAGAR TERA SAATH NA CHHODENGE
………
next scene : Surma Bhopali apne dookaan pe ek aadmi ko lakdi bech raha hai.)

aadmi : Kya surma bhopali, tum to aur bhi lakadi kam kar rahe ho.
surma : are, kam nahi karoonga to kya barhaoonga? Lo taraajoo tedha
huwa jaa rihya hai aur tum kahte ho ke kam na karo lakadi.
Are uthaoo apni lakadi aur nikalo paise.
aadmi : ye lo do rupiye ka note.
surma : wo to mai bhi dekh rihya hoon. Lekin kharaa hai ki nahi?
…. haa, kharaa hai. Bahot khushi ki baat. Achha saab,to
Khuda Haafiz.
aadmi : baaki ke paise to waapas kar do.
surma : paise? Kaise kaise paise maang rahe ho?
aadmi : woh note to do rupiye ka tha.
surma : are, to ye lakadi bhi do rupiye ki hai.
aadmi : do rupiye me itni si lakadi.
surma : to kya do rupiye me saaraa jungle kharidne nikale the aap.
dekho miya, ab bahot ho gaya. Aap yahaa se rawaangi raaj do,
nahi to mera naam bhi surma bhopali aisa hi nahi hai. Samaze?

(aadmi jaataa hai, aur surma andar jaata hai.)
surma : do rupiye me jungal kharidne nikale the. subah subah dimaag
kharaab karne chale aate hai. …… Aur inko dekho, are Chaand
miya jab dekho baithe shayari karte rahte ho. Baahar dekho,
truck se maal utaraa hai ki nahi?…….(ab us ko do aadmi dikhte hai
jo us ke saamne peeth dikhate huwe khade hai.)
Lo lo, are yahaa koi tamashaa ho rihya hai? Musaafir khaanaa hai?
kaun log ho aap? (ab wo dono uski taraf mudte hai).
Are khaa, aap aur yahaa?
Veeru : Kaise ho surma bhopali?
surma : mai to aap ki duwa se khairiyat se hun. Lekin aap log ye kar
kya rahe ho? idhar aao. Pulice ne yahaan aap dono pe do hajaar
rupiye ka inaam rakha hai. Agar kisi ne dekh liya to aap ke saath
mai bhi lapete me aa jaaoonga. Aap to yahaan se nikal lo.
Jay : Surma Bhopali, ham jail jaana chahate hai.
surma : alla aap ki tamanna poori kare. Bhopal ho ta to hum waise hi aap ko
do minute me andar karwaa dete. Hamara naam surma bhopali aisa
hi nahi hai. lekin yahaan hamaari kya jaroorat hai? yahaan to pahale
se aap ke naam ka waarant nikala huwa hai.
Jay : Lekin ham chaahate hai ki TUM hame jail le jaao.
surma : Kya keh rahye ho?
Jay : ham par do hajaar rupaye ka inaam hai, wo pooraa ka pooraa
tumhe mil jaaye.
Veeru : Aur jab ham chhoot kar aaye to us me se aadhaa hame de dena.
surma : kya keh rahye ho aap? mai to kehta hoon, aap ye paan khaalo.
bahot achchha paan hai miyaa, bahot maje ka paan hai. Na jaane kaha
kaha se aa jaaaaate hai?!!

________________________________________

(Kaaliya aur do aadmi waapas aate hai)

Gabbar : Hmmmm…. Kitane aadmi the?
Kaliya: sardar.. do aadmi the.
Gabbar: hmmm.. Do aadmi ? …. SOOWAR KE BACHCHO.. woh do the aur tum teen
.. phir bhi waapas aagayeye . khaali haath.. kya samaz kar aaye the?..
sardar bahot khus hoga sabasi dega kyoon? DHIKKAR HAI …
Arre O Saambha… kitna inaam rakkhe hai sarkaar ham par?
Sambha: Poore pachaas hajaar..
Gabbar: Soona.. poore pachas hajaar.. aur yeh inaam isliye hai ke yaha se pachas
pachas kos door gaanw me jab bachcha raat ko rota hai to maa kahti hai
beta soja ..soja nahi to gabbar singh aa jaayega. Aur yeh teen haraam jaade..ye
gabbar singh kaa naam poora mitti me milaay diye..iski sajaa milegi..
baraabar milegi..( ek aadmi se revolver leta hai aur usse poochhta hai)
kitni goli hai iske andar?
Aadmi : (woh chauk jaata hai)
Gabbar: KITNI GOLI HAI?
Aadmi : Chhe sardaar (six)
Gabbar: (khud se) chhe ? ( jor se) chhe goli.. chhe goli hai iske andar..
chhe goli aur aadmi teen… bahot naa insaafi hai yeh…( teen goli
hawa me uda deta hai) ab theek hai. haa ab theek hai.. ab iske teen
khaano me goli hai teen khali.. ab ham issko ghumaege….(…)
ab kaha goli hai kaha nahi? .. hamko nahi pata .. hamko kuchh nahi
pataa. is pistaul me teen jindagi teen maut band hai… dekhe
kisse kya milta hai?
(pahale aadmi ke taraf jaake uske sir par revolver chalata hai
lekin goli nahi lagati) bach gaya saala …( doosare ke sir pe revolver
chalata hai .. woh bhi bachataa hai) yeh bhi bach gaya..(teesare ki
taraf jaake) teraa kya hoga kaaliyaa?
Kaliya: ..s..sardar… maine aapkaa namak khaayaa hai sardaar..
Gabbar: ab.. goli kha ( revolver kaliyaa par chalata hai use bhi goli nahi
lagati) kamaal ho gaya… Teeno bachh gaye ( ab gabbar hansane chaalu
karataa hai) yeh teen h.. ha ha .. teeno haramjaadon ko .. goli
nahi lagi( ab gabbar jor se hans rahaa hai)
(baaki sab hasnaa chaalu karate hai…. aur achanak teen goliyon ki
aawaaj aati hai aur woh teen aadmi mar jaate hai… ekdam sannataa
chha jaata hai.. thodi der baad) jo dar gayaa .. samazo mar gayaa.

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Basanti : Prabhu , sansaar mai aisi koi baat to hai nahi jo tumse chhoopi ho.
tum to sab jaante ho. Dekho mai ye nahi kahati ke tumhe yaad nahi
hoga , lekin phir bhi apni taraf se kah denaa achchaa hotaa hai.
Aaj somwaar hai. bas ek chhotisi binati hai prabhu. Dekho .. jaraa
Dekho ye taange ki lagaam khinchate khinchate haath aise ho gaye
hai jaise ghodi ke khoor. Arre tumhare liye kya mushkeel hai?
bas aisi jagaah baat lagaao prabhu ke basanti raani ban ke raaj
karay , yu ke majaa aa jaae jindagi kaa. aage jaisi tumhari marzi.
Veeru( Shivji ke murti ke pichche se bolta):
Kanyaa.
Basanti : Yu ke ye kaun bola?
Veeru : Ye ham bol rahe hai.
Basanti : Prabhu , TUM ? Chamatkaar ho gayaa.
Veeru : Hamne tumhare liye war dhoond liyaa hai , kanyaa.
Basanti : Ek hi somwaar me dhoond liya. waah prabhu. Yu ke tumne sochaa hai
to thik hi sochaa hoga. lekin phir bhi agar naam bataa dete … yaa
agale somwaar aaoo. jaisa tum kaho prabhu.
Veeru : war kaa naam hai VEERU.
Basanti : VEERU? prabhu, ye meri jindagi ka sawaal hai. jaldi se kaam mat
lenaa. bhale chaar somwaar aur lag jaaye. … dekhane me to
thik hai, lekin saalaa bahot hoshiyaari maartaa hai.
Veeru : CHOOP RAHO KANYAA.
Basanti : Befijul baat karne ki aadat to mujhe hai nahi prabhu. jo tumhaari
aagyaa.
Veeru : Yadi hamaari aagyaa ka paalan nahi kiyaa to saari umra kanwaari
baithi rahogi.
Basanti : (dar ke) haa prabhu.
Veeru : Aur suno..
Basanti ūüė¶ Jay pichche se Basanti ki peeth thapthapaata hai aur basanti
pichche dekhate huwe) Yu ke … ( Amitabhh use choop rahane kaa
ishaaraa kartaa hai aur use mandir ke pichche le jaataa hai)
Veeru : ( is sab baat se anjaan Veeru apne hi dhun me bolta hai)
Yu ke dhanno ke saath taangaa chalaati rahogi.(Jay Basanti ko mandir
ke pichche le jaake veeru kya kar rahaa hai ye dikhaa deta
hai aur nikal jaataa hai.) Hamaari aagyaa hai ke jaao aur apni
mausi se khule shabdon me kah do ke veeru ko hi tumhe jeewan saathi
banaanaa hai. Aur aaj se veeru kaa aadar karnaa tumhaaraa dharm hai.
is liye ke usi ke charano me tumharaa swarg hai.Yadi tumne use
prasanna kiya to ham prasanna ho jayenge. aur yadi tumne use krodheet
kiya to ham krodheet ho jaayenge.
Basanti : Achcha..
Veeru : (pichche dekh ke ) sh… ( phir bolnaa chaloo kartaa hai)
is liye jaao…( ab use pataa chal gayaa kya huwaa. phir)
(jooth hasate huwe) basanti … ( phir thodi hansi) basanti.. maine
sochaa … yunhi..
Basanti :(gussa hoke) tumne sochaa ye ke ham to gaaon ke rahanewaale hai.
is liye ham ko akal to hai nahi. aur tum hame bana loge ulloo. Tum
bahot hoshiyaar samazate ho apane aap ko magar basanti tum jaison ko
haat me bech kar aayegi.. haa. ab tum yahaa baith kar ramaao
dhuni , basanti chali apane ghar.
Veeru : Basanti .. Basanti , suno to….

( Aur phir gaanaa shuroo hotaa hai –
KOI HASEENA JAB ROOTH JAATI HAI TO……)

________________________________________

Veeru : Jay,
Jay : Hmm..
Veeru : aaj maine kuchh sochaa hai.
Jay : hmm, kabhi kabhi ye kaam bhi karanaa chahiye.
Veeru : Aaj maine ek bahot bada faisalaa kiyaa hai.
Jay : Mai bataau tera bahot bada faisala? Tu Basanti se shaadi karna
chahata hai.
Veeru : Arre, wah wah wah . Tu mera sachha yaar hai. ek yaar hi yaar ke
dil ki baat jaan sakata hai.
Jay : Aur woh yaar ye bhi jaanta hai ki is saal me shaadi ka ye tera aathawa
faisala hai.
Veeru : Yeh final hai yaar.
Jay : Final ? … subah se daaru pe rahaa hai na?
Veeru : Yaar Partner, mera ek kaam kar de..
Jay : Kya?
Veeru : Woh Basanti hai na us ki mausi ke paas jaakar mere rishte ki baat
kuchh is dhang se kar ke mausi shagun leke aajaaye.
Jay : Mai kyun karoo?
Veeru : Aare, Ladkewaale hi to jaate hai ladkiwaalon ke ghar. Jay, Aur phir
is duniyaa me tere siwa mera hai kaun?
Jay : Dekh, shaadi toone karni hai, tu jaa ke baat kar.
Veeru : Jara Soch …. Shaadi ke baad ek ghar hoga.
Jay : Ghar to tera hoga.
Veeru : ek biwi hogi.
Jay : teri hogi.
Veeru : 7-8 bachche honge
Jay : tere honge.
Veeru : … par chacha chacha to tumhe hi bolenge na. Pyaar se tumhari
goad me khelenge, tere kandhon pe zula zulenge. Aur totli jabaan
me bolenge taataa taataa hamko kahaaniyaa sunaao…
Jay : Hmmm… yaane shaadi ke baad tere ghar me mujhe aayaa ki naukari
milnewaali hai.
Veeru : .. samazaa, tu mera dost nahi. laanat hai aisi do..(daaru ki botal
phodate phodate ruk jaata hai . do ghoont maar leta hai.)
Isi liye akad rahaa hai na, ke mera ye kaam tere bagair doosaraa koi
nahi kar sakataa… aaj meri maa hoti to meri kab ki shaadi
ho chuki hoti. Mere chhote chhote baal-bachhe hote. Aaj meraa baap
hota to band baaje ke saath meri shaadi kar ke laataa.
Mere bhai bahan hote woh muasi ke pair chhoo kar bhi basanti ki
shaadi mujh se karwaa dete.. Lekin ye mat bhul jay..Jiskaa
koi nahi hota uska bhagwaan hota hai,
… Bhagwaan..(phir se daaru pita hai). Tu woh dost nahi rahaa.
Tu nahi chahataa mai boore dhande chhodkar ghar-grihasti basaa sakoo.
Maine tujhe kyaa samazaa tha jay lekin tu.. tu kya nikala?…
Jay ūüė¶ a big pause) (to him self) saalaa nautanki…. ghadi gadhi
draamaa karta hai.(to Veeru) Chal bas bas bahot ho gaya hai,
mai mausi se jaake baat kar loonga.
Veeru : sach?

________________________________________

Mausi : Arre beta, bas itna samaz lo ke ghar me jawaan beti seene par
pathhar ke sil ki tarah hoti hai. Basanti ka byaah ho jaaye
to chain ki saans loo.
Jay : haa sach kaha mausi aapne. bada bojh hai aap par.
Mausi : Lekin beta, is bojh ko koi kunwe me to phaik nahi deta.Bura nahi
maananaa , itanaa to poochhanaa hi padataa hai ke ladke
kaa khaandaan kyaa hai uske lachhchhan kaise hai, kamaataa kitnaa
hai?
Jay : Kamaane ka to ye hai mausi,..,ke ek baar biwi bachhon ki jimmedaari
sar pe aa gayi to .. kamaane bhi lagegaa.
Mausi : To kya abhi kuchh bhi nahi kamaataa?
Jay : Nahi nahi ye maine kba kahaa mausi, kamaataa hai lekin,… ab roj
roj to aadmi jeet nahi sakataa na. .. kabhi haar bhi jaataa hai
bechaaraa?
Mausi : haar jaata hai?
Jay : haan mausi ab ye kambakht juwaa cheej hi aisi hai ab mai kyaa
kahoon ?
Mausi : heynnnn. to kya juwaari hai?
Jay : chhi chhi chhi chhi mausi, woh aur juwaari na na. woh to bahot hi
achchha aur nek ladka hai.Lekin mausi, ek baar sharaab pi li na phir,
achchhe bure ka kahaa hosh rahataa hai. Haath pakad ke bitha liyaa
kisi ne juwaa khelane. ab isme bechare Veeru ka kya dosh?
Mausi : Thik kahate ho beta. juwaari woh sharaabi woh lekin, uska koi
dosh nahi.
Jay : Mausi aap to mere dost ko galat samaz rahi hai. woh to itanaa
seedha aur bhola hai. aare basanti se uski shaadi karke to dekhiye,
ye juwe aur sharaab ki aadat to do din me chhoot jaayegi.
Mausi : Arre beta, mujh budhiyaa ko samaza rahe ho. ye sharaab aur juwe ki
aadat kisi ki chhooti hai aaj tak.
Jay : Mausi aap Veeru ko nahi jaanati , wishwaas kijiye wo is tarah kaa
insaan nahi hai. Ek baar shaadi ho gayi to woh us gaane-waali ke ghar
jaanaa band kar degaa. bas, sharaab apne aap chhoot jaayegi.
Mausi : Hi hi, bas yehi ek kami raha gayi thi. to kya kisi gaane-waali ke
ghar bhi aanaa jaanaa hai?
Jay : To isme kaunsi buri baat hai mausi. arre , gaana soonane to raajaa-
mahaaraajaa unche unche khaandaan ke log jaate hai, haan.
Mausi : Achchha ! to beta ye bhi bataate jaao ki tumhare yeh gunwaan dost
kis khaandaan ke hai?
Jay : Bas mausi, khaandaan ka pataa chalate hi ham aap ko khabar de
denge.
Mausi : Ek baat ki daad doongi beta. bhale sau buraaEyaa hai tumhare
dost me ,phir bhi tumhare munh se us ke liye taareefe hi nikalti hai.
Jay : ab Kya karoo mausi.. mera to dil hi kuchh aisa hai.(pause)…
To.. mai ye rishtaa pakkaa samazoo?
Mausi : Pakkaa? . bhale saari jindagi ladaki kuwaari baithi rahe. lekin
mai aise aadami se Basanti ko nahi byaahanewaali. Sagi mausi hoon.
koi sautelee maa nahi.
Jay : Ajeeb baat hai. mere itane samazaane par bhi aap ne inkaar kar
diyaa.. Bechaaraa Veeru… naa jaane kya karega?

________________________________________

(Veeru unchi paani ki taanki pe chadh gaya hai, nashe me hai, aur haath
me daaru ki botal hai.)

Veeru : Kood jaaoonga, phaan jaaonga, mar jaaoonga.. Hat jaaOO…
log : Are are .. ye kya kar rahe ho?
Veeru : Wohi kar rahaa hun bhaiya jo majanoo ne lailaa ke liye kiyaa tha,
raanzaa ne heer ke liye kiya tha romeo ne juliet ke liye kiya
tha soosaaEt… SOOSAAET…
shankar : Arre bhai, ye soosaat kya hota hai?
ek aadmi: angrej log jab marate hai to use soosaat kahate hai.
shankar : lekin ye angrej lok marate kyun hai?>
aadmi : woh.. ,(veeru se) arre bhaai , baat kyaa hai, tum soosaat kyun
karanaa chaahate ho?
Veeru : Yeh mat puchho chaachaa , tumhaare aasoo nikal aayenge. Ye badi
dukh bhari kahani hai. Is storee me emotion hai, drrraamaa hai
trrragedy hai. Yeh Basanti hai naa is se mera lagan honewaalaa tha
chaachaa. Lekin iski buddhi mausi ne bich me bhaanji maar di.
Ab mai is dooniyaa me nahi rah sakata. Gaanw-waalo tum ko mera
aakhari salaaaam, good bye , GOOD BYE.
Shankar : Arre bhai ye good baae kya hota hai?
aadmi : Angrej log jab jaate hai to good baae kahate hai.
Shankar : Lekin ye angrej log jaate kaha hai?
Veeru : Gaanw-waalo mai jaa raha hoon, Bhagwaan mai aa raha hoon.
log : arre , arre ruk jaao, ruk jaao..
Veeru : ruk jaaoo? tum log… jor dete ho to .. thodi der ruk jaata hoon.
Basanti : Arre wah .. arre,Tum Kaise Dost ho ( Jay ke paas basanti jaati hai.)
tum yahaa baithe ho…
Jay : kyun, kya huwa?
Basanti : mujhe kya maaloom kya huwa? woh dekho tumhaaraa dost kaha chadh gaya
dekho …..( Jay dekhata hai).. dekha dekha tumne?
Jay : Haa, dekha. kuchh nahi hoga. Jab daaru utaregi to ye bhi utar
aayega.
Basanti : yun ke maine ek se ek jaalim dekha magar tum jaisa patthar dil
dost nahi dekha jo .. (she runs towards Veeru).. Arre Sambhaalo.
Veeru : Mera koi nahi is duniyaa me na yaar na dost. is liye mai jaan
dekar rahoonga. lekin ek baat sun lo gaanw-waalo, jaha koi premi
jaan deta hai, waha bhayankar kisam ki musibatey aati hai.
log : Kaisi musibatey aayengi ?
Veeru : Akaaal , sukhaa , charchak , haijaa, aur ye sab is boodhiyaa ki
wajah se aayengi is budhiyaa ki wajah se.
Mausi : he ram
Veeru : Dekh lena gaanw-waalo, when i death pulice coming. pulice coming,
budhiyaa going jail. In jail ,budhiyaa chakki pising and pising
and pising and PISING(he is about to fall)
log : Arre mausi haa kar do nahi to ye jaan de dega.
Mausi : arre kaise haa kah doo Deenaanaathji.
Veeru : Arre gaanw-waalo, is budhiyaa se darkhwast ki koi jaroorat nahi
hai. ab mai rukanewaalaa nahi hoon. mai jaan dekar rahoonga hmm.
1..2..3..4..5..6..7
Basanti : Mausi ,Haa kah do mausi.
log : agar mar gaya to court kachery ka chakkar ho jaayegaa mausi.
Mausi : arre bhaiyaa mai to kabhi court kachery nahi gayi.
log : to phir haa kah do muasi.
Mausi : (small pause) VEERU THAHAR JAA ,THAHAR JAA. mai taiyaar hun.
log : Arre mausi ne haa kah di bhai niche aa jaao.
Veeru : Mausi se kaun shaadi karega saalo, mujhe to woh dhanno.. o ..
Basanti se shaadi karani basanti se.
Basanti : Veeru, mai tum se shaadi karane ke liye taiyaar hoon, ab nichhe
aa jaao.
Veeru : He He he he, arre gaanw-waalo sunaa tumne bhaaeyo, mausi bhi
taiyaar hai basanti bhi taiyaar hai.is liye marna cancel. Mai
nichhe utarataa hoon mausi, mausiji, mai nichhe utrungaa.

Top 25 Bollywood Dialogues

1. ‘Kaun kambakth hai jo bardasht karne ke liye peeta hai. Main toh peeta hoon ke bas saans le sakoon.’

Dilip Kumar in Devdas


Film: Devdas (1955)
Dialogues: Rajinder Singh Bedi

It’s been more than half a century but Dilip Kumar’s unforgettable anguish, as he conveys the pitiable desperation of Sarat Chandra Chattopadhyay’s tragic hero, still evokes a feverish sigh.

2.Salim tujhe marne nahi dega aur hum, Anarkali, tujhe jeene nahi denge

Prithviraj Kapoor in Mughl-e-Azam

Film: Mughal-E-Azam (1960)

Dialogues: Amanullah Khan, Kamal Amrohi, Wajahat Mirza and Ehsan Rizvi

3.Jinke ghar sheeshe ke hote hain woh doosron ke gharron par patthar nahi phenka karte

Raaj Kumar and Sadhana in Waqt

Film: Waqt (1965)
Dialogues: Akhtar-Ul-Iman

4.Tum ahankaar ho, tumko marna hoga. Main aatma hoon, amar hoon

 

Dev Anand in Guide

Film: Guide (1966)
Dialogues: Vijay Anand

5.Babumoshai, zindagi aur maut uparwale ke haath hai. Usse na aap badal sakte hain na main

Amitabh Bachchan and Rajesh Khanna in Anand

Film: Anand (1971)
Dialogues: Gulzar

6.Aap ke paon dekhey, bahut haseen hain, inhen zameen par mat utariyega, maile ho jayengey

Meena Kumari in Pakeezah

Film: Pakeezah (1972)
Dialogues:  Kamal Amrohi

7.Mujhse dosti karoge?

Dimple Kapadia and Rishi Kapoor in Bobby

Film: Bobby (1973)
Dialogues: Jainendra Jain

8.’Khamoshhhhh!

Shatrughan Singha in Badla

Film: Badla (1974)
Dialogues: Jagdish Kanwal

9.Saara shaher mujhe loin ke naam se jaanta hai

Ajit in Kalicharan

Film: Kalicharan (1976)
Dialogues: Jainendra Jain

10.Kitne aadmi the?

Amjad Khan and Viju Khote in Sholay

Film: Sholay (1975)
Dialogues: Salim-Javed

11.Main iska khoon pee jaonga

Dharmendra and Amjad Khan in Sholay

Film: Sholay (1975)
Dialogues: Salim-Javed

12.Chal Dhanno, aaj teri Basanti ki izzat ka sawaal hai

Hema Malini in Sholay

Film: Sholay (1975)
Dialogues: Salim-Javed

13.’Mere paas maa hai

Shashi Kapoor and Amitabh Bachchan in Deewar

Film: Deewar (1975)
Dialogues: Salim-Javed

14.Don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahi, namumkin hai

Amitabh Bachchan in Don

Film: Don (1978)
Dialogues: Salim-Javed

15.’Draupadi tere akele ki nahi hai, hum sab shareholder hain

A scene from Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron

Film: Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron (1983)
Dialogues:Ranjit Kapoor, Satish Kaushik

16.’English is a very phunny language

Amitabh Bachchan in Namak Halal

Film: Namak Halal (1982)
Dialogues:  Surendra Nath Kaul

17.Mogambo Khush Hua

Amrish Puri in Mr India

Film: Mr India (1987)
Dialogues: Salim-Javed

18.Rishte mein toh hum tumhare baap lagte hain, naam hai Shahenshah

Amitabh Bachchan in Shahenshah

Film: Shahenshah (1988)
Dialogues: Inder Raj Anand

19.Main chhota sa, pyaara sa, nanha sa munna sa bacha hoon

Shakti Kapoor in Chaalbaaz

Film: Chaalbaaz (1989)
Dialogues: Kamlesh Pandey

20.Dosti ki hai, nibhani to padegi

Salman Khan and Bhagyashree in Maine Pyar Kiya

Film: Maine Pyar Kiya (1989)
Dialogues: Sooraj R Barjatya

21.jab yeh dhaai kilo ka haath kisipe padta hain, toh aadmi uthta nahi, uth jaata hai

Sunny Deol in Damini

Film: Damini (1993)
Dialogues: Dilip Shukla

22.Teja main hoon, mark idhar hai

Paresh Rawal in Andaz Apna Apna

Film: Andaz Apna Apna (1994)
Dialogues: Rajkumar Santoshi, Dilip Shukla

23.Koi baat nahi Senorita, bade bade deshon main aisi chhoti chhoti baatein hoti rehti hai

Shah Rukh Khan and Kajol in Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge

Film: Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (1994)
Dialogues: Aditya Chopra and Javed Siddiqui

24.Ya toh dosti gehri hai ya yeh photo 3D hai

Saif Ali Khan and Sonali Kulkarni in Dil Chahta Hai

Film: Dil Chahta Hai (2001)
Dialogues: Farhan Akhtar

25.Tension nahi lene ka

Sanjay Dutt in Munnabhai MBBS

Munnabhai MBBS, 2003
Dialogues: Abbas Tyrewala